My grandmother was diagnosed with advanced dementia, a form of Alzheimers. On Sunday, March 16, 2014 I went to visit her and my grandfather with my mom and sister. It was a random visit because we were out and about that day and decided to stop by on our way home. Lo and behold, my grandma was not doing well. She was asleep, as she had been the few times I had seen her prior. I watched as the vein in her neck pulsated so that I could confirm that she was still alive. I made sure that I made promises to her that I was going to keep. I told her I would make her proud of me- she has always been one of my biggest supporters in everything I did from academics to sports to random business ventures I would make as a child. Now that I’m older, I was telling her about what I want to do (even though I know it will change at least slightly within the next 5 years). I had to make sure to tell her because I didn’t know how much longer she would be here. As I cried, talked to her, rubbed her head, and held her hand at her bedside, one thing I told her was that I wanted to start a blog called defineBLACK and use it to connect people throughout America and the world as a space to talk about blackness- our commonalities, our differences, and to express who we are defined by us individually and show that as much as we are the same, we are different. Among the many things I told her that day, telling her about my blog has led me here. My grandmother passed away yesterday morning, March 18, 2014. I promised my angel that I would start my blog so here I am, the next day no longer procrastinating, overcoming my fear of not knowing how this would turn out, making my grandma proud, and getting started.
Moral of the story: The time is now.
Welcome to defineBLACK.